Just Breathe!

First off I need to say if this offends anyone I am sorry...........Now for a brief history to explain. 

Feb 17, 2004 I had a hysterectomy.  It was due to severe Cervical dysplasia, I had several things done,  

LEEP--Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure that lead me to having

CONE BIOPSY which showed that is kept going through my layers.

After all these tests and nothing coming back in a happy positive way I was left with a hard choice, keep having Leeps done or just to have things removed.  I decided to have a hysterectomy.  I lost one of my ovaries also due to uncontrolable bleeding. I am not trying to have a sad post so on to the better part of this post.  So for the last 6 years I have had the priviledge yes I will call it that PRIVILEDGE of not having my monthly "gift".  But now I only daughter has now RUINED my inner glee!  Yes I am calling her out and letting everyone know!  (my mom did to me so I am passing it on to her).  SO this weekend my daughter told me that she would be needing some PADS!  WHAT NO PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME! So there I am in the store in an isle that I have not been in for what seems FOREVER!  I felt so out of place, I had no idea what to get!  I was having a panic attack.  I think I picked up 10 different kinds reading them looking and comparing them and still had no clue what to get.  Come on Shana this can't be that hard you used to do this all the time.  But it reminded me of Dude, when he came home from his mission he said his friends took him to the grocercy store and he just stood in awe of it.  (He served in Bolivia)  That was just 2 years away, so my 6 year hiatus grants me this panic and awe.  So any way these are what I got and I hope she is ok with them I am sure if she isn't she will for sure let me know!

FAMILY HOME EVENING

So we decided to make Family Home Evening a dinner party. We made SUNDAES!

I know what your thinking sundaes for dinner but you know what every once in a while you have to change it up a bit. We had all the food groups except the veggies and that I think we could skip. Mine is the one in the middle, Dude's is in the corner and of course the kids are photoed with theirs! 

Team who???

Yes I have choosen a side and even though I know it is not going to end the way I would have liked I still have picked my side.  At 3:10am  Emalee and I finished the route and drove just 4 minutes

to Wal-mart to rush in and grab our copy of NEW MOON!!!

We then promised each other that we would go home and sleep and not watch it till morning.

After a day of shopping we sat and took it all in! 

Did I ever think I would enjoy these movies as much as I have, No.  Do I try to look for things that are

similar to my life, sure what girl wouldn't. I have watched it 3 times and in between those I have even watched Twilight too.  I know I am a hopeless cause.

White Rabbit or Neo???

I am feeling out of sorts these last couple of weeks I don't know if it is the change in the weather or me trying to change myself.  At one moment I feel like the white rabbit always late for something very important.

It doesn't seem to matter what it is I do to keep it from happening

.  I am not only late for things I seem to miss them entirely. 

Then at other times I feel like Neo.  Where I am having to choose the red pill or the blue pill in deciding what way I want my life to go.  Sometimes I feel that I have a serious GLITCH in my matrix. 

I feel like I have done things already so then I start to think wait did I or didn't I?  This to makes my brain hurt to points I don't like.  The constant fear of thinking I may have taken the wrong pill loams over

me.  This is where I have learned to fall to my knees and pray. 

Will praying make me a better White Rabbit so that I will be on time for things/not miss things or a more in

control Neo and not letting my matrix get the best of me, but being my own matrix the way I want it.

Are you confused? So am I!

Only one more holiday to go.....

I made it through Valentines!  I have to say I don't mind holidays so much I have some I dislike more than others.  Let me explain cause I am sure your saying "What dislike a holiday?"  As a regular every day person I enjoy holidays but as a Floral Designer that is a totally different story.  Yes there are many holidays but in the flower world there are 3 major ones.  1. Christmas-----it lasts ALL month long.  So I get to a point that I am totally over the hype of it.  I have to put my tree up right after Thanksgiving cause if I don't I won't want to.  2. Valentines Day----this year was a treat cause it was on Sunday and the shop I work at is closed on Sunday (joy of working for LDS people).  Now my dislike for this one, people who call and freak out at the price change, like us the flower shop changed the price to make money, well really it is the growers that are the price bandits.  It is the same bunch of roses nothing more special about them. I hate hearing all the lovey dovey messages that people think they are the first one in the world to come up with.  It also kills me to have people ask me what I get for Valentines since I work in a flower shop.  Well truth is I would like to get flowers too!  3. Mother's Day---This is the top of the dislike.  Most think it is Valenitnes but really when you think about it not every one has a sweetie they want to send something to, but EVERYONE has a mommy.  It also turns into the please make mine extra special.  Really people do you think I make ugly all day yet now your order has come up and this is the one I am making beautiful!  I love my job really I do!  I just get a bit burned out at times.  I don't mean to sound ugly but well holidays can be very ugly.  Don't  even get me started on PROMS!!!! that is a whole other post in its self.  Now that I have bashed the holidays I still want you to know if you need flowers from a shop that is a total kick butt awesome place---please give me a call or email me- ohyeahflowers@msn.com.   Love to all who read this and can still smile and love me all the same!